Judgement
by Daniela Ferro, See Change Ambassador
We judge and have to judge the world around us on a daily basis.
We judge if we can cross the road before the next car, if we should have another piece of chocolate or instead fruit, if the new hair colour of our friend is cute or ‘interesting’.
We judge if the politician we are about to elect is worth our trust.
Judgement by definition is an opinion or decision based on thoughts, feelings and evidence.
Judgement should be fair and ideally based on facts (at least when it comes to judgement in court).
Looking at judgement in daily life; we all know that that’s now how it works.
We judge and have to judge the world around us on a daily basis.
Unfortunately it gets really tough when we are BEING judged.
Let’s start with being judged when it’s true: “Oh dear, was your hair supposed to have a green shimmer?”
We are a tiny bit hurt, but we know it’s true, secretly thank our friend for being real…and move on with life (after getting an appointment at the hairdresser).
Being judged when it’s not true and based on bias (conscious or unconscious) is worse.
It hurts. You don’t feel seen as a whole person. You are reduced to the reason for the judgement.
This especially hurts when it comes from people you deal with on a daily basis.
It can be family, friends or your managers at work.
Now we add something on top of judgement that makes it so hard to critize: when it comes with the best intentions:
“Yes, we know you are due a promotion, but you have recently come back from sick leave and we want to make sure you can handle the stress”
It took me a bit to digest that and identify what it was: Judgement
I had indeed come back from sick leave after getting the right treatment for my generalized anxiety disorder.
Would I have heard the same sentence if I would have said I had to get treatment for one of my many slipped discs in my back?
Why does it make such a big difference if we are out sick for a mental or a physical health issue?
Only both types of health together make a happy and productive employee. In most cases you can’t even separate the two. If your body struggles your mind will go to darker than usual places as you get increasingly frustrated with the inability of your body to recover as fast as you want it to.
On the other hand, if your mind struggles and you don’t listen to it and ignore it, your body will put the breaks on and will force you to rest and recover.
In the end, we have days of good health and days of bad health.
Unlikely to hear anybody say: “She went to the doctor to get a procedure on her slipped discs. She is probably not strong enough to deal with it by herself!”
Yet, when it’s your mental health you are getting help with…it can be a different story.
But you know what? You don’t have to accept the judgement. Instead surround yourself with people that support you and don’t judge you based on an illness.
We judge and have to judge the world around us on a daily basis.
And that’s what I did. It took me a while, but in the end I judged it was time to move on and I found a company full of people that carry a culture of support and respect, with the employee at the heart of it.
Five days a week we spent the majority of our time awake working. I personally do want to be judged (and valued) on my results…and not based on conscious or unconscious bias around any aspect of my body or mind or state of health.
If you are having a tough time at the moment and need to reach out for support, please contact any of the following
