I’m Grand
by See Change Ambassador, Daniella Ferro
“I’m grand.”
Oh no, I think I didn’t smile. Was I at least looking friendly? Or was I looking grumpy? She must be thinking I am so full of myself and exceptionally rude. Maybe if I would try a big smile now it would help.
Great, there is a big fat coffee stain on my shirt. Why did I not realise that earlier? Did I switch off the iron? And what about the hair straightener? What if it causes a fire at home? Did I renew my insurance actually? Do I have to pay the fire services for the neighbour’s damage if my insurance expired? Ok, calm down. All good. Stay here.
Am I at least 2m away from her? What if she has COVID–19? What if I have COVID–19? When will the vaccine come out? I really hope that we get out of this soon. What if I lose my job? What if my employer goes bankrupt? What if I get so sick that I won’t be able to work ever again? What was the latest number of new cases in Ireland? Gosh, I really hope they won’t lock us down again. Why are the US not locked down? Why is nobody seeing how the government is driving the country down? If the US goes further into recession, surely that means that Europe will go further too. How long now until the US general election? What if they re-elect him? What if they don’t? Will the other one be any better?
Calm down. Stay here. You can’t influence any of this. You are 2m away from her. Should I ask her about her family? She has a girl, doesn’t she? What was her name? Why am I so bad with names? Is it rude to just ask how the little one is even though I should know her name? She was so kind when my little one arrived and now, I forgot the baby girl’s name. Do I spend enough time with my baby?
Feel so bad since I have been working again. I am so torn between liking my work and loving my baby. I wish I could do both in equal amounts of time. But, we need the money. House, family, college costs in several years.
Stay here. Stay calm. It’s ok not to be ok, right? But how much not ok is ok to share?
“Hun? How are you really?”
“I am…actually; would you have time for a cup of tea?”
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